Not Every Mentor is a Match: Why Guidance Should Come with a Fit Check
Not Every Mentor is a Match: Why Guidance Should Come with a Fit Check
We’re told every founder needs a mentor or coach. Maybe. But not all guidance is created equal. This blog explores how to separate real insight from overpromised advice, and why the wrong fit can cost more than money.
One of the most common pieces of advice you’ll hear as a founder is, “Get a mentor.” And I agree, to a point. The right mentor or coach can completely change the game. They can help you see blind spots, push you through self-doubt, and hold you accountable in ways that help you grow faster and smarter. But just because someone offers to guide you doesn’t mean they’re the right person to do it.
I’ve met incredible mentors who genuinely care, who ask thoughtful questions, and who want to help founders succeed. I’ve also met others who, while well-meaning, speak from experience that doesn’t align with what I’m building, or from an industry that looks nothing like mine. It’s not about ego, it’s about fit. A brilliant mentor in one sector can completely miss the mark in another.
When someone steps into your world as a coach or mentor, they’re not just giving advice, they’re shaping your thinking. And that’s no small thing. The wrong guidance can quietly redirect your focus, steer you off track, or even chip away at your confidence.
The coaching and mentoring world is also a business. Coaches are selling something too: their time, their frameworks, their perspective. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does mean you need to make sure what you’re buying is something you actually need. Because while money is one kind of investment, time and energy are far more expensive when you spend them in the wrong place.
I’ve had experiences where a mentor tried to “fix” something that wasn’t broken, or where I left a meeting more confused than inspired. It took me a while to realise that it wasn’t because I was missing something, it was because we were operating from completely different playbooks. One was talking in corporate terms while I was building something entrepreneurial, fast, and resourceful. One was focused on scaling what already existed, while I was creating something that didn’t yet have a roadmap. Both perspectives can be valuable, but only if they align with your stage and your vision.
A good mentor doesn’t just talk, they listen. They ask questions before they prescribe answers. They help you think more clearly instead of simply telling you what to do. They don’t make you feel smaller for not knowing something, they expand the way you see it.
The best mentor relationships I’ve had didn’t feel like hierarchy, they felt like collaboration. Like a conversation between two people trying to solve the same puzzle from different angles. Those are the ones that push you forward. That's time and energy well spent!
I think sometimes founders get caught in the idea that having a mentor automatically means you’re doing something right. Or that not having one means you’re missing something. Neither is true. Some of the best breakthroughs come from doing the work, making mistakes, and learning through your own process. Mentorship is a tool, not a trophy.
The same goes for coaches. There are some incredible ones out there who bring real clarity and accountability. And there are others who, frankly, are just great marketers. They can talk about mindset and resilience, but when it comes to understanding your industry or your goals, they’re speaking another language entirely.
If you’re going to invest in a coach or mentor, ask yourself a few questions first. What do you need right now? Strategic direction, personal development, operational structure, emotional resilience? The clearer you are about what you need, the easier it is to find the right person to provide it.
Then ask about their experience, not just their philosophy. Have they built something? Have they managed teams, scaled companies, faced failure? Do they know your industry, do they know your product or service, do they know your customers? Can they relate to your challenges from lived experience, or are they repeating what they’ve read in a playbook?
Do they lean into your business and get into the trenches with you, or do they lob ideas from the sideline, never getting their hands dirty or participating in any of the work? And most importantly, how do you feel after talking to them? Do you leave the conversation with energy and ideas, or with doubt and confusion? That emotional check-in tells you everything you need to know.
A mentor should challenge you, yes, but not make you question your worth, and never make you feel small. They should push you, but not pull you off course. They should pump your tires, but never inflate your ego. The right one reminds you what you already know and helps you see how to use it.
At the end of the day, mentorship is about chemistry, timing, and shared values. When it clicks, it can accelerate everything. When it doesn’t, it can drain you faster than a bad hire.
So don’t be afraid to walk away from a mentor or coach who doesn’t fit. It’s not disrespectful, it’s self-aware. Your growth deserves the right guidance, not just available guidance.
Good mentorship should feel like wind in your sails, not weight on your shoulders.
Let’s surround ourselves with people who listen, who lift, and who lead by example. #GetRoaming and let’s build a tourism economy that values connection, collaboration, and the kind of guidance that truly helps us grow.
Yours in tourism, innovation and startups,
Founder & CEO
Roamlii
